Moral support

Sometimes I wish i could just pull away..

Im so tired from everything that has happened lately. I need strength. I need someone to be there who is able to understand, give me advises, hug me when there are no words for consolation, and not judge me :'(

Poly life is so far the toughest i'm going through. Who said it will be the most memorial time of my life? Who said it was gonna be easy? Who said your best friends will be found there? Bull shit seriously. Probably it was just me facing all these problems. Or and i highly believe it is my personality. I dontknow. I feel so vex everytime i go home, cause everytime im outside, im putting up a front. (Im alright, im okay, dont worry and to sum it all up with a smile) ...

I really miss the days before i entered TP. Anyway, at least im happy to know i have Jiahua Alyssa Ethel Adora Felicia.. Without them, i probably would have just died.

I love chompchomp. Never get bored with you around

Yesterday was my last day of work. Grown quite attached to it and the people there for like 3 months (: they are nice people. I guess i can't just kick the habit of folding clothes everyday and start writing notes the following day. Yes, school starts TODAY!!! :O I havent had the chance to parteeeey during my holidays or chill much :(

This 3 months, from the beginning of my study break, so many things happened, alot of self relection done and deciding on new targets. Drifted from all my friends except Jiahua, YY and my collegues.. Felt really guilty for not being there for Ethel during her down days and Adora + Alyssa's O level days as well. Im a horrible friend :/

I don't know what happened to me this holiday but my mindset on alot of stuff has changed. For the better or for the worst im not sure. One thing im sure is that, my personality has changed. Moved on from my past and challenged myself to a new future. I don't want it yet i can't help it. My heart is screaming : Put yourself in other's shoes. Im in another state of dilema =/ Plus, im not even sure what im feeling. Its suffocating and insecure and wrong. I should serious fuck myself -.-

Okayokay, i shall think about it anymore. Not gonna help anyway. school has started and my engine is ready to fight the next war. Hopefully the engery doesn't just die out halfway through :( Got Psychology for my CDS and i've decided not to change it. Im gonna try to at least get a B for it! I swear i want my GPA to be 3.0 at least!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~


Got a new haircut for the new sem! :):) rash decision but im pretty happy w it . I can bathe faster and lesser shampoo used too! ^^ Hahaha. I should buy a headband for training (Y) Alright, i should prepare for school now starts at 4pm and i'v gotta leave house like 2.45 -.- Disadvantage of studying far from where you live..

Don't want to be just another of one of your ex

Tmr is finally my off day! :) My legs seriously needs a break man. Its either working/basketballing/shopping/walking.. I really hope it doesn't get any bigger. LOL!

To sum up the week:

- Bball camp on Monday and Tuesday.

- LOST MY FREAKING NEW BBALL SHOES. (Used only 3times!) _|_

- Ran 4.8km during the camp. I wish i have the habit of waking up early every morning and run this distance. I'd be SOOOOOO THIN! :(

- Workworkwork. I like the sense of satisfaction when i manage to persuade customers to buy stuffs :P

- No time to meet YY at all! ZZZZZ...

- Met up with Kuien Shili and Ivy for lunch during our break. All working in town ^^

- Spent quite alot on my new CK Bag and a DIY gift.

- Offically broke.

I can't wait for tmr! I am gonna do all the things i like tmr! Meet YY (Like finally), Buy a new bball shoe +shoe bag, Basketball session in the morning with Webber and babe :D:D But training in the evening abit reluctant. Need to part early... Sighs* I wish i had more time.

Ohyea, gotten my results for the sem already. Its damn disappointing. Why is it that i studied my ass out and know my stuff well yet others who didnt study much can get better than me? Im not trying to aim anyone here but seriously, i hate it when this happens. I am happy for them but sometimes, humans are still self-centered right? Its seriously unfair. I dont get the results for what i work for. Its it just me or my useless brain. I wanna be someone and not just some bimbo who isn't smart :/