Going beyond your abilities, brings satisfaction

Been really busy lately. Sacrificed most of my social life for work and studies. I feel extremely drifted from my TP clique. Missed the flea with them and meetups :X Im really sorry guys! :( Recently, decided to dance for Teacher's Day with Jiahua Satya and Jk. Most of them couldnt make it. I have to say.. I am not really enjoying myself for this dance but hope it gets better :) I am not sure of the steps still and the date is closing. Im worried. Not to forget my studies, Im EVEN MORE WORRIED! I promised myself, i wont let my job affect my performance in my studies!

Working at CK is really enjoyable i must say :) Friendly people, cute guys and good pay? Hahahhaah! The only thing is, its pretty slack and long hours. Other than that, I suppose its all alright ^^

Ohyes, surprisingly, there is nothing troubling me since the start of work. I have my aims and I intend to reach it. Although my family isn't supportive of me working and dancing.. I'm hoping to prove them wrong. I mean, may it be basketball/dance, I enjoy what i'm doing and I don't find it a chore nor its tiring. For it, I'll find time for them. I told my mum, i may not be the best basketball player nor a flexible dancer that you'll go WOW at but i enjoy what im doing. Its like a form of relaxation for me. Although it stresses me out sometimes and I will look down on myself but at times, it brings the best of out me too. When I exceed what i can do. I feel a sense of satisfaction there :)

When the worst and the best come together

Today is a SUAY DAY! I swear it is -.- Let me explain the details :

First; I woke up just on time and knew i was gonna be early. Head for the showers and WTF? THE AMOUNT OF WATER COMING OUT FROM THE TAP IS LIKE DRIZZLE -.- I took freaking 25mins just to bathe :S & therefore, i was late.

Next, I flagged a cab from afar and it was those big cabs with a starting fare of 3 bucks with extra charge. Drove all the way to my workplace already and FUCK?! I FORGOT TO BRING MY WALLET AND I DON'T HAVE CK'S NUMBER OR ANYONE FROM THERE'S NUMBER T CALL TO INFORM THEM THAT I'LL BE LATE/ BORROW MONEY FROM THEM FIRST -.- Not to mention its only the second day of my work. For that moment, i wanted to just call babe and asked if i could go over her house but i knew i was gonna be irresponsible. So, the CAB DRIVER DROVE ME BACK HOME WITH THE RUNNING METER -.- Ran upstairs to take my wallet and the cab fare summed up to 20bucks plus -.- FUCKING WASTE MY MONEY. IM OFFICALLY BROKE AGAIN?!

Theres more, when i just reached CK and settled down, they ask me to go to th tailor room which is located at Forum. Its okay but i forgot how to sign in and kena scolding by the aunty -.- NB!

Also, after lunch, i was told to photocopy some stuff at Club21's headquater office at some place i had no idea where it was. They describe the place to me but i still got lost -.- Not mention, IT WAS POURING OUTSIDE! The umbrella was damn small and i'm wet (feet, pants, shirt and hair) Took me 53mins to get back ://////

But after that, it got better. Babe came over to find me! Had wanton meeeee :D:D Got a bigger portion cause i was starving!! Pineapple fried rice for lunch with Yu Yang wasn't enough :( I eat more than him -,- I feel fat* zzzz

Anyway, babe made my day really. We chat non stopped! :D From school to guys to old days to jokes to loads and loads of stuff (L) Her tumblr about me, awwwww i was damn touched too. I really can't do without her man! I think she is my other half. LOL! IM STRAIGHT PEOPLE* Dont misunderstand. Just feel that, shes all i need. Non of my boyfriend can ever replace her or match her. If there is someone out there like her, i would know he is the ONE! :D

Passion

Hey ya'll ! I've started work and thanks to Kuien, I got an excellent job at CK Mens :D Awesome staff most importantly and good pay (Y) I like my job regardless of the long hours. Hopefully i can cope with my studies and I enjoy what im doing so i'm not gonna feel tired :):)

Had dance practice on Sat for Teacher's Day at CBSS :D Awww i miss dancing and im glad that im gonna work with the same people and a couple of juniors :D I hope theres time to learn 2 songs! I've decided, im gonna save up and learn street jazz or maybe something else! Im gonna find the one that suits me! Hiphop, i love the style and all but i really cant get the feel and strength out :/ Sighs* Im not giving up! Theres bound to be something out there thats suits me.

Study-basketball-work-dance.. I'm loving what i do now and i'm definitely gonna stick to it :D Who needs men!

No room for regrets

Every morning girls wakeup and anticipates a good morning text sent by their boyfriends but for me, when i wake up, i don't feel any emptiness now as before, you never once sent me a good morning text. Prolly once. But it was always only good night :( You never wake up earlier than me and always slept later than me..

When guys ask me out and had everything planned and paid for, i feel weird, like i'm supposed to pay for own meal/movie and all. When guys have a week filled of activities like me and dont have time to hangout, i feel weird too. It used to be just me having a hectic life..

Sad to say, I'm not exactly over you and you are still part of my habit. But I guess our differences are too wide and my personality is probably too dominating so yes it was a right choice. Anyway, everytime or most of the time we talk, we quarrel. I do miss you though..

___________________________________________________________________


I've only done so little revision this week and i'm starting work soon (this coming saturday) Really gotta balance my time and sacrifice social and play time if i wanna work :/ I really gotta buck up!!

Went for K session some time ago with TP clique :) Was a horrible day to begin with as my results for accounting is confirmed.. Hide my feelings and at the end of the day, i suppose i got over it and decided to work harder for the rest. Im not gonna waste my life regretting. There is no time machine which i can start all over anyway. The support from my friends too made me feel alot better (L)





Just gonna upload some. The rest are on my facebook! :D

Also, went to watched fireworks with my girls on Monday! We totally had the National Day mood. Hehe! Put tattoo on our skin that says "NDP 2010" hahahahha! It was fun. Adora even brought the light up Singapore flag-clapper thing! HAHAH!!
We walked alot that day I tell you!
Suntec-Marina Bay Sands Mall-Marina Square-Merlion-Esplanade. Not to mention walking around the area. HAHAHAH! Luckily i wore my fake vans. TEEHEEE (Y)














Oh yes, and went for my bro's SMU CONVOCATION at Resrts World Sentosa ytd. WOW THE PLACE WAS AWESOMEEEE!! (Y) No boyf to bring me go unfortunately.. :( Still hv friends!! LOL. Anyway, seeing all the uni students.. i seriously envy them. I really dont know if i can get into one ;/ My grades are bad....






I love my dress that day so.. camwhored!! (L)

Im over boys

Sup! Abandoned my blog as its not fun blogging here anymore! :/ Im currenlty hooked to twitter and tumblr especially. Everytime i on the computer, Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr and Itunes would be the first :D Should I close this blogspot down? Anyway there arent many readers.
http://kissmyguts.tumblr.com
follow me!

This month has been a terrible month. Tears built up since my breakup was exploded all winthin a week -.- I don't usually cry like i always tell people and its true. Thank god for all my friends who were there for me. I couldn't ask for more :) My grades would be pulled down alot thanks to accountanting so i'll be working harder! Go out lesser and concentrate longer (Y) Motivate me people :D Without Jiahua in my life.. Its so boring and i can feel myself changing already. As in personality and behaviour. Im not as high as before and my tolerance level isnt as good as before -.- I hate myself..

Oh yes, i overspent this month on flea and more shopping ;x So i've gotta save up all over again and pay my debts of course. Hahhahah :) I can't wait to work at CK ! I always liked working. new challenges, new people, new experiences! ^^ Hopefully it all worked out according to plan :D But first, concentrate on studies~ I have to constantly remind myself. STUDY.STUDY.STUDY!

I feel like having a makeover too. Like a drastic haircolour, or a barcode tattoo over my wrist ( if my parents wouldn't kill me/disown me for that) !

Let me be in coma

I hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate life.

Have i ever demanded anything from you guys? No.
Have i always openly asked you for money? No.
Do i expect you to praise me? No.
Do i expect you to guide me with studies? No.

All these years, i have learnt to live independently. Yes, i lived on your money. I studied O Levels myself with the help of a tuition teacher. Yes, you paid for it. But i did my best and studied everyday without fail. You may not see my efforts but i expected you to have understood everything by now. When kor got into some shitty course, i dont see you scolding him, or saying how much effort he hasn't put in. Instead, you guys encouraged him and told him not to worry. Now he is a university far more expensive than the others, you guys did not say a word. Not like i got into ITE or private right. Why? Why isn't it good enough for you? I did my freaking best.. You may not see it but i reallyreallyreally did.. Was it because I didnt go to a JC?

Over this small matter, I have finally understood how you feel about me. Your impression on me and everything else. I know i am not intelligent, spendthrift, lazy, irritating and always having moodswings. But aren't im trying to make things better and improve myself? You don't understand me at all. I thought you do. Its so disappointing. Bias shit..

Now you expect me to be so irresponsible and cancel on the person. Can't I just it a shot for a month and decide? Not like if i dont work i will got to the library to do FUCKING RESEARCHES? Can't i just try to be more independent and do something for myself? I don't want t rely on you and next time you guys will say i am so useless.. There is never something I do pleases you. If i ask you now, what have i done to ever please you guys? I would say you couldn't name one. Making you trying to see my effort is killing me literally!

Asking me to control my social activities. Saying i go out of course spend money. I control and stay at home then don't need t work already? HOW BOUT I JUST BE LIKE MY RETARDED COUSIN?! Wouldn't that be THE BEST KID EVER! Not like Im not studying right. Not like I am asking you for money right. I just need your understanding. I am freaking turning 18 and cant you tell my mind is way more mature than you think it is? Even my friends can see it. WHY NOT YOU?! You guys were suppose to be my closest kin. Suppose to be people I can BE MYSELF and TELL YOU GUYS EVERYTHING ... But why is this happening..?

Should have seen it coming

My impression on guys are getting worst. One word to describe them: DOGS. There isn't any better word to further exaggerate how fickle and mind-playing they are. One moment they go: Hey I love/like you. & the next, you see them having their eyes fixed on someone else.

I feel like a retard, what was i thinking? Gosh, I should have already seen it coming. I am so glad I lost my heart. Or else, i might be under my sheets sleeping on a wet pillow. I totally agree with Kenneth.G, I never say forever, because IT DOES NOT EXIST!