Help me

I don't have the energy to carry on with whatever i am doing now. You know, its the kind of feeling whereby you just wanna put everything you're doing down and stare into blank space with no one interrupting you. Its just you and the peaceful environment. No matter how much fun i play or have a mini getaway, it doesn't work anymore..... Everytime i go back to school, my mind will be : When will this ever end~. I enjoy studying really as well as basketball. But somethings, just don't go the way i want it to.

Take studies for example, i did consistent study for my bus stats but i screwed the test today. I was really hoping to get a full marks!!! I didnt know there was another question at the last page!! Although it was only 2 marks. Plus, i suddenly couldnt remember how to do standard deviation for raw data. MY MIND FUCKING BLANK OUT!!!!! The paper is fucking easy and i just simply lost 5marks like that. Am i born stupid or what. I admit i was pretty distracted over something before the lesson but IT SHOULDNT BE AN EXCUSE!!! I couldnt help but went to the toliet to cry. I was SO DISAPPOINTED in myself :( Advise me........

For basketball, I really wanna try to do better but i feel that i've come to a stage where i have to be good already and there isnt time for me to start from basics. Better with my mates now but i feel im a waste of resources and i should quit too. Like the other freshies. I suck. I realise that i have nothing i am good at nor i can boast about. May it be dance, bball, studies~ I can't even excel in ONE! -.-

I'm really really really lost. I don't know what to do anymore. Im just blindly studying now and just wanna pull up my grades from previous sem. Friendships are another problem. So is grouping for group projects. FML!