I need to boost my self esteem

Had our first POLITE game today. Bench warmer literally, but i got over it. I'm gonna train harder and i wont quit. Prove those who thought i'll quit soooon that i can be better!! It was really demoralizing and all during the friendly match but thanks to Alex, he motivated alot and it changed my mind ^^ Thanks yo!

He wanted to come over and watch the match today with SP but he lost his way :( He was so near yet so far. However! MY LOVELY BABIES CAME INSTEAD AND IT TOTALLY CAUGHT ME BY SURPRISED! I had no idea they were comingggggg. Especially Jiahua who pretended to forget i had match. HAHAHHAHA LOVE YOU GUYS!!! Ethel Adora and Jiahua !! (L) (L) (L) Made my day!

Trained back with Jiahua and suddenly i had the appetite to eat so went to have late dinner. Once again, i feel fat :( KFC for lunch toooooo. I need to run!!! -.- Thank god im ball-ing with Adam Andy Amos and Jiahua tmr during my 3hr break (Y) WOOOOOOHOOOOOO!!! Its been so long since i last played with them :( Excited* If only Seng Cheong could join us tooooo..

& after much thoughts.. I guess i've looked at the overview and the odds.. I suppose i've decided what to do. Im really tired being the one forever chasing. I wanna be chased too you know :( I cannot just replace someone who has lived in your heart for so long. & if time will tell, let me know when the time comes... Im seriously tired. About 1year ago, i was in a similar situation and its happening all over again. WHY DOES THIS KIND OF SHIT ALWAYS HAPPEN ON ME....